You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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