didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My nipple is on Facebook.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
