Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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