why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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