elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
