I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Randomize
