$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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