peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
