i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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