We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
