Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
