Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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