If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We need a shit load of segways right now
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
