That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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