school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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