My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize