Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
