I'll bet she douches with gravy.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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