i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
