He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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