Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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