You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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