At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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