Walk of Shame. In a state park.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
