found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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