Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
