I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
