dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
