ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
COCAINE IS GR8
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
