She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
FUCK WHALES
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
