i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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