You're my little dorito
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
