was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize