i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize