On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
