I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
