yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
