my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
we made out on top of his cat.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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