I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize