Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize