she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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