the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
