nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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