Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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