he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
