Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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