she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
