i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
This is the high leading the old right now
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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