Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
