I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
