Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
