yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
