But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
