you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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