Just fell off a train. Bad.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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